12Jul/13

PC or not PC

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“We can’t do that, we have to be PC”. Ever hear that?   For some reason, these two letters push many managers into a state of inaction. What I don’t understand is why?

Why can’t we say “Don’t do that again”? Instead we say “Let’s see how we can do this differently”. The latter is great if you are coaching someone but only after they’ve been told that the previous method is unacceptable. Don’t confuse the two – the first is a directive, the second is instruction. It’s OK to use the two techniques together

Being politically correct means treating everyone with respect and dignity. It means making sure that we do not use our differences to demean, insult or injure.  It means making sure that we are following legal requirements to extend equal opportunities to all who qualify based on ability and not some arbitrary factor such as age or sex. That’s all it means. What it does not mean is that we can’t let our staff know when they are doing something that is unacceptable.  If there is doubt about whether you are being “PC”, get advice.  Talk to your boss, your HR department, employee relations or company counsel.  But don’t sit idle because you think you might offend. Find out, adjust accordingly and then take care of the issue.  It all comes down to having the managerial courage to do what’s right.

Managerial Courage

I suspect that if you ask 10 people to define the term you’d get 10 different answers. For some, it might mean having to make tough decisions. For others, it might mean disciplining a difficult employee.  For me it means having the confidence, the skills and the ability to be the manager. You are in charge. You have been given the responsibility and the authority to tell people not only what you want done, but when and how to do it, and conversely when and how not to do it. You have been tasked with making decisions that affect issues that are important to the organization. As such, you must have the courage and the confidence to guide your staff to achieve goals that contribute to success.  When you have managerial courage, you use the laws, policies, procedures and rules to help you make a decision.  You do not use them as an excuse for not making a decision. That’s when being PC is worthless. It protects no one and confuses everyone.

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26May/13

How We Communicate

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robinsonk26 / Pixabay

“When people show you who they are, believe them” ~Maya Angelou

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is a really large matter. ‘Tis the difference between the lightening-bug and the lightening” ~ Mark Twain

The two quotes above may seem like disparate thoughts but they do have a common element.  They speak to how we communicate with each other.  Maya Angelou points out that a person’s actions may not be in concert with what they say and  Mark Twain shows us that words we use really do matter

Think about it. Your company’s mission is to deliver product “on-time” but your colleague is routinely 5-10 minutes late for staff meetings. Does s/he really believe in the mission? Your boss that tells you he would like a project completed by a certain date when he really needs it by then to finish his report. You get swamped and finish the project a day later. Where was the disconnect? And what about the power of silence? How often are we busy formulating our response to what the other person is saying? Or even trying to talk at the same time. If we’re talking or thinking about a response, you can bet that we are not listening. What we say, how we say it and how we present ourselves can open the conversation or shut it down completely.  What do your word and actions show?

How to do it

Try this the next time you are having a conversation with someone. Treat the conversation as a three-step approach. First stop talking and really listen to what is being said. Not only listen but hear the meaning behind the words. Maybe “you really shined in the meeting” actually means “I’m glad you took our training to heart last week”. Think about the words being used and look to see if they match the body language, the facial expressions, the demonstrated behaviors of the speaker (Angelou). If they don’t ask questions (Twain). Seek to clarify the message but don’t jump in until you’re invited. Wait for a pause. Ask if there is more information and then and only then give your input. Let me know how it works.

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14May/13

There Are No “Shoulds”

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This is my mantra. One day over coffee, I was in a discussion about a work related issue and the word crept into the conversation. It felt wrong as soon as I said it so I started thinking about what I really meant. My conclusion: Should is all about the speaker’s expectations without taking the listener into account. It is not an inclusive word. It does not lend itself to collaboration and cooperation. It is a directive. Think about it. You’re hanging out with a friend who says, “We should go to the movies”. The problem is you don’t want to go but now your friend has an expectation that you will be sitting in a dark room for the next two hours with enough popcorn and soda to feed a small island.

What he probably means is “Would you like to go to the movies?” What’s the difference? A lot. You now have options. You get to make a decision instead of being told what is expected of you and you probably see the invitation as just that – an invitation, not an ultimatum. Not to say that the word is always inappropriate. “We should leave now, the house is on fire” works just fine. The trick is to know when to use it and what you really mean when you use it.

Try this the next time you need something from someone. As soon as the S-word enters your head, throw it out and replace it with “I would … (like, need, want etc.). It should work wonders

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