How Trust Works
Trust is powerful. It’s so powerful that we hold classes and workshops on how to build it. Coaches and consultants work with clients to help them understand how it empowers employees to perform beyond expectations. It gives people freedom to act without always seeking permission and above all else, it gives them tacit approval to continue doing the things that work and to get better every time they use it. So, what’s all this talk about the “dark” side?
Trusting to Fail is not the Same as Distrust
We build trust by building strong relationships. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is good or bad. It’s the up close and personal interactions that determine the strength not the quality. So, what happens in a bad relationship? What happens when a manager and employee don’t get along and the work starts to suffer? The stronger the toxicity, the worse the impact. There’s still trust, but it’s the trust that things cannot go right. No matter how much we want things to go well, we’re positive our employee will screw up. We are even willing to bet that things will go sideways. To clarify, this is not the same as distrust. It’s much worse. Distrust is the total lack of trust. Distrust is being wary of things going right and being surprised when they do. Trusting to fail is different because we expect things to go wrong and we feel a sense of satisfaction when they do. There’s a sense of” I told you so”. If we don’t believe an employee can be successful, we don’t have the capacity to support and encourage them. The employee is not motivated to change, and neither is the manager.
What it Looks Like
Jake has never been a strong performer and things are getting worse. He has received a couple of warnings and he no longer seems to care about doing a good job. Jake’s coworkers and clients are complaining, and you get frustrated every time you think about interacting with him. He takes a lot of your time to manage and termination seems inevitable.
Jake’s got a major project due at the end of the week and even though you have no indication, you’re already thinking “the project will be late and full of errors, so I’d better prepare to spend some time fixing it.” You haven’t seen the project, but you know it will be subpar because you are trusting that Jake will screw it up. At this point, you’re probably already writing the termination letter in your mind. And what about Jakes thoughts when he sees you. “My project is coming due, but I don’t even know why I try – they’ll only find fault with it. Maybe it’s time to start looking for a new job – I can’t win so why bother”.
Hiring Trustful Employees
OK, this may be an overly simplified example, but you get the point. People will work hard to meet our expectations and it doesn’t matter if we expect them to succeed or fail – they will perform accordingly. This is the real power of trust. As soon as someone is elevated to a position of authority, they have the power to impact others. It doesn’t matter if they want it or not, it comes with the title. The potential consequences of that impact can be positive or negative. Understanding and navigating the difference takes emotional intelligence, critical thinking and empathy for others. When hiring managers look for these core traits during the interview process, it helps ensure that new managers have the capability to not only build trust but to use it wisely. Trusting someone to do the right things can inspire greatness. Trusting them to do the wrong things can inspire mediocrity and ineffectiveness. In that case, it might be better not to trust them at all.
Are you trusting to fail? Check out our services here.