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Man showing stress with head in hands

Stressed Out

What is it and What Are the Causes?

Stress is often the elephant in the room. It is defined as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances”.  Trying to balance work and home life with the holidays fast approaching will have many of us so emotionally strained that we won’t know what to do. This is especially true for those of us facing difficult challenges (mental, physical, societal, etc.).

We’re busy trying to figure out family dynamics that we didn’t have to deal with before.  Can we all get together safely? Where can we all meet?  Who won’t be able to be there? It’s tough and when you add the back-to-work concerns around in-person vs remote workers, etc., it’s no wonder we’re a bit anxious. These are some of the symptoms we may be experiencing that are associated with high-stress levels.

  • Trouble Sleeping
  • Exhaustion
  • Feeling Overwhelmed
  • Difficulty Concentrating
  • Anger or Irritability
  • Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure

The list can be as long as your arm and if you don’t know what’s causing the symptoms, it can be difficult to alleviate the tension.  I came across a post in the MindTools Club that I think can help. It identifies four major causes of stress.

Major Stress Causes

  • Time – Meeting deadlines
  • Anticipatory – What might happen in the future
  • Situations – Losing control
  • Encounters – Interacting with others

I was surprised when I saw the list because I always thought that stress was just stress. This is what I discovered when I looked at the past week through the MindTools lens.

Where My Stress Lives

  • Time – This blog was due last week.
  • Anticipation – I’m supposed to facilitate a board retreat next month and I can’t start preparing until I have an agenda.
  • Situation – Our house remodel starts next week.
  • Encounters– I have a phobia of birds and live in a community rife with turkeys, geese, ducks, and ravens.

What does this mean for me? If I can recognize what type of stress I have, I can choose the correct coping technique. It’s realizing that meditation won’t work when I encounter the turkeys, but deep breathing might. It means that actively setting goals and using my calendar better will decrease my time stress. In short, by increasing my self-awareness, I have a better chance of successfully decreasing my stress level.

Stress on Steroids: The Pandemic

So, this is not just a way to show you how complex my life is at the moment (although I could use a hug). It’s about recognizing what you and your team may be experiencing and how you might deal with it.

I started off by mentioning that the holidays are coming up. Holidays can be hard for people for a lot of reasons. There’s less sunlight,  there’s the run-of-the-mill family drama,  and don’t forget that whole “Black Friday” thing.  It’s just an exhausting time of the year. Now, take a minute and think about our experiences of the past 20 or so months:

  • Covid- 19 Pandemic
  • Political Conflict
  • Social Unrest
  • Extreme Weather
  • Changing  Work Requirements
  • Work/Life Balance

OK. Take the past year, add normal everyday life,  and stir.  Happy Holidays!  (stop banging your head against the wall).  Remember, at the beginning of  this post when I said, “not to worry, we’ll get through this together?” This is that part.

What You Can Do

I encourage you to do two things: First, think about the types of stress you experience. Write it down. Use the MindTools Club list. Next, ask yourself what it feels like physically, mentally, and emotionally. Write it down. Finally, write down what you did, are doing, or are going to do to alleviate those feelings.

Completing the steps will help you identify causes, effects, and possible solutions for keeping calm. The other reason it’s important that you write it down is that it will help you realize what your team may be experiencing. I can’t emphasize this enough. Simply thinking about the steps will not be enough. Going through the process will bring the clarity you need to help your team.

The second thing to do is to get your team to talk about what’s bothering them. Ask them to share their experiences and what they do to cope.  Don’t make it a therapy session. It doesn’t have to be intense but your job as their leader is to create a safe space for them to voice their concerns. Many times, just giving a voice to what’s bugging us goes a long way to decrease the tension.

The funny thing is if you have read any of my blogs before, you’ll notice a recurring theme that follows my first three rules of good management:

Have a great Thanksgiving! I’m going to go practice some deep breathing with the turkeys:)