Selfless Management
Image generated by Adobe Photoshop, using the prompt ‘4 wooden blocks spelling the word CARE’
Selfless management goes a step beyond servant leadership. Servant leaders dedicate themselves to making sure people have the tools and support they need to succeed. When you’re a selfless leader, you do this plus, but you also care deeply about why you do what you do. You transition from servant to selfless when you develop compassion in the workplace.
Recently, I attended a virtual workshop on Public Speaking Techniques held by Eduardo Placer of Fearless Communicators in New York. It began with a simple breakout room exercise: “Discuss a time when a speaker lost your trust”. Easy, I recalled being at a conference where the keynote speaker greeted the audience and immediately started pitching her marketing program. She could not have cared less about us, and we knew it. Why? Because it was all about her.
In the workshop, Eduardo emphasized being outward-focused and establishing honest relationships with people. I loved this because being a selfless leader means leading from the heart, and that requires a combination of soft and hard skills. The hard skills are learning when to be quiet and how to read the room and the soft skill is developing compassion. It’s not easy but put them together and you’re on your way to creating a dream team.
It Starts With Compassion
I bet when you were promoted, you thought you were all that and a bag of chips. Wrong. Promotions are not about the manager. Your promotion means the company sees you as someone who can influence team performance and benefit the company. It’s not about you. It’s about your ability to “own the whole,” to understand the job, take responsibility for getting it done right, and be accountable for when it doesn’t. The motivation comes from a sense of duty. It’s a key driver to get the job done, but understand that it’s inward-focused and transactional. I’m not saying you don’t care. I’m asking you to recognize that it starts with an outside force that inwardly generates a sense of duty. Yep, responsibility is about making sure others think well of you.
Compassion, on the other hand, forces you to focus outward. You attention is all about others and that means you check your ego at the door. It means you reinforce relationships, not policies. You show up in ways that say you care enough to make sure everyone succeeds – from the CEO to the maintenance worker. It means taking the opportunity to get to know people and create real relationships. It’s combining subject matter expertise with basic people skills such as being quiet, reading the room, and leading from the heart.
Being Quiet
If selfless management is servant leadership on steroids, the ability to be quiet does the same for active listening. When you practice Active listening, you set your thoughts aside, concentrating intently on the speaker. You prepare yourself to receive the information. Being quiet, on the other hand, is deciding how you show up before the conversation begins.
For example, someone asks to talk to you for a minute. You agree and stop what you’re doing. You think you’re in active listening mode, but are you truly engaged? Being quiet means calming down everything around you, making sure nothing gets between you and the speaker. No thoughts, no sounds, no movement. Nothing. This allows you to “listen between the lines” and genuinely understand what’s being communicated.
Being quiet helps you absorb the nuances of the conversation and focus entirely on the moment. This requires self-reflection. Before you start, take a moment to ask yourself: What am I feeling? What is my relationship with this person? Are there thoughts, actions, or memories that might interfere? Am I ready to be quiet?
Reading the Room
If you can read the room, you’re off to a good start. Why? Because it means that you want to understand your audience before you open your mouth. When you can interpret the dynamics and unspoken cues in people, you avoid mistakes and ensure clear communication. It’s a fact, we say so much more with our bodies than we do with our words. If you know what to look for, you’ll build stronger relationships.
Are people talking to one another and engaging in the work? Have they created relationships, or are they quiet and sullen? Does the atmosphere change when you walk into the room or when you approach a certain person? These are the things that can tell you what’s going on with your team, your organization. More importantly, they can tell you what’s going on with your relationships in your team. If you are oblivious to your environment, you’ll never gain their trust. This is where you start.
Conclusion
Today’s workforce wants to be involved. They want to know that you care not only about the work that they do but about them as people. Take some time to show them your humanity and recognize them for the value and expertise they bring every day. Treat them with respect and compassion, understand the nuances and clues they give you, and above all else, seek their advice and input, then listen to what they have to say. You will create a workplace culture that will be the envy of all.