Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Are you an Influencer?

There have always been influencers. Think about commercials, ads, and anything that gets to you buy things. However, thanks to the internet, the word has a different meaning. Today’s influencers are social media marketers who make gobs of money simply by suggesting products they may or may not have used.  Authentic celebrities use their fame to endorse products. Internet influencers use products to create their fame. There’s a big difference.

In the workplace, you are also an influencer. Your influence, however, is passive.  That’s because your team is aware of everything you say and do, and it affects the relationships. That makes you an influencer by default and it’s different than being a role model.

Role model vs Influencer

Social norms require us to treat each other with respect and dignity. As role models, we try to demonstrate acceptable behavior in the hope that others will notice and act accordingly. Influence is different because it’s primarily passive. we aren’t necessarily aware that we are doing it.  It’s what others notice about us and how it affects them. I’m suggesting that you practice active influence.

My Story

I volunteer for a nonprofit at San Jose State University called Braven.  Braven helps underrepresented students develop the skills necessary to obtain career-oriented first jobs after graduation.  They may be first-generation graduates, low-income, minority, or marginalized in some other way. When I started in 2015, I didn’t see myself as an influencer. I was simply paying it forward. I was wrong but it took me a while to see it.

Each semester, I make the same request. If an African American woman registers for the class, I want them in my cohort. I consciously want to be a role model so that they can see their future success because they see it in me.

It took a few semesters to realize I am also an influencer.  I often use stories about my life.  When I do, I naturally talk about my wife and the fact that being human, I struggle with mental illness. It’s not that I’m making big pronouncements,  it’s just part of who I am. It’s interesting what starts to happen.  When I meet the students individually, I hear their wishes, hopes, and fears. I also hear deeply personal stories about suicide attempts, fears of coming out, and being bullied. That’s when I realized the influence my stories had. They not only create a safe space, but they also allow the kids to open up because they see a part of themselves in me. That’s the power of influence.

Empowering Differences

In 2022, I met Ashley Brundage at the annual NGLCC* conference, and I began to understand my superpower. Ashley is the author of Empowering Differences: Leveraging Your Differences to Impact Change. Her book helps us use our differences to empower others in our desire to level the playing field.  It was while reading the chapter on influence that I realized that I was empowering my students. That’s when I started consciously using influence to create change.

 How You Do It

The key to creating change is awareness. Your actions matter, no matter how insignificant you think they are. I know because I was hired by a manager who had 30 grievances filed against her. One of the complaints: “She never speaks to us when she comes in in the morning”.

Self-awareness takes courage. Without it, your ability to understand how you think, communicate, and relate to others is limited. This makes it harder to reach your true potential because you don’t see all of your strengths or areas of growth. When I talk about knowing yourself, I’m not talking about a quick online assessment. I’m talking about a lifelong process (and commitment) that helps you see how you relate emotionally to people and situations. Once you do that, you begin to understand how you influence others. At that point, you begin to show up in a way that creates positive change in others. As the great poet,  Maya Angelou is noted for saying: When people show you who you are, believe them.

*National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Happy Employees Increase Profits

People over profit.  What does that look like? Recently,  I met with a new client to get a feel for the company before I drafted the proposal.  The company operates restaurants in major airports and was looking for some basic workshops for their managers in conflict resolution and basic body language recognition. As the Director and I walked through the sites, I took notice of her interactions with the various managers and crew members and it was amazing.  First of all, almost everyone smiled when they saw her.  Why?  Everything about her connection with them showed that she cared.  She cared about them, yes there was work to be done but she rarely asked about business or supplies or any of that “operations” stuff.  She asked about them. When we sat down (after a 3-mile walk), we talked about the company philosophy, and she summed it up in 3 words: “People over profits”.

Playing  the Tape Forward

At one point, I asked her what would happen if I applied for a position but had no experience.  She started smiling and said, “I love you already”. Not the answer I was expecting but it was indicative of the company’s philosophy. She said that she could teach me to cook a hamburger or be a bartender. If I didn’t have the ability to do the work, I wouldn’t have been called in for an interview. She was looking for something more, someone that could grow with the company, could be groomed for leadership positions from the day they hit the door.  It wasn’t about my skills; it was about my prospect for the future.  Her actions were evident everywhere. There were GMs who had been there for more than a decade, starting out as food runners and baristas.

Show Them You Care

Think about it. Investing in people increases productivity and increased productivity means bigger profits. It’s not rocket science. Treat people with respect and dignity.  I’m sure you do care but do you show it? If not, it’s time to start; not only with your team but also with your boss.  Start your conversations with “how are you?”, not with “we need to talk”.  They’ll fear you less and trust you more.

The workplace doesn’t have to be a dungeon and you don’t have to be a taskmaster. As the boss, you get to hire people and I am asking you to interview your applicants keeping their well-being top of mind. Help them to wake up in the morning and say “I get to go to work, not I have to go to work. I know it sounds pretty simplistic and all touchy feeling but think about how you respond when someone shows you they care. Sometimes, upping our management game is as simple as being a good person.

Much thanks to Angel and High-Flying Foods

Personal Accountability

Does personal accountability still exist? I’ve been thinking a lot about today’s workforce and the trend toward quiet quitting and malicious compliance.  More importantly, I’ve been thinking about why it happens and what we can do about it. If you scan sites like Reddit or Bored Panda you’ll see people boast about getting back at their bosses by only doing the minimum required to stay employed.  It’s called quiet quitting and for some reason, people think it’s a great way to “own” the boss. There’s also a thing called malicious compliance, which is the practice of doing exactly what you’re told knowing the results will be negative or harmful.  A lot of people think the stories are hilarious. I think they spell trouble. Also, as a servant leader, it makes me very sad.

Why it Happens

Face it, there are some horrible bosses out there (hopefully, this blog keeps you from being one of them). But there are also some horrible employees and when you put them together, well, as they say, stuff happens.  There is no one real cause but I believe that the lack of personal accountability is one of the root causes of the disconnect between a manager and their direct reports.  If I don’t hold myself accountable for my actions, I can’t expect you to trust or respect me as your boss.  It also works in reverse. If there’s mistrust and disrespect, communication breaks down and resentment sets in.  Let the quiet quitting begin.

What is Personal Accountability?

There are a gazillion definitions of accountability but it really boils down to what it means to you. For me, it boils down to one word – ownership. At the end of the day, do you take ownership of your actions, attitude, consequences, and reactions?  Ask yourself if you take responsibility for the outcomes.

For Managers

You have a big, complex job and it can be challenging to keep all the balls in the air. As you go about your day, you have an obligation to your team to give them the best shot for favorable outcomes.  Ask yourself:

• Were my directions clear? Did I check for understanding?
• Did I make sure they had the tools and supplies needed for success
• Did I address any questions or concerns?
• Did I treat them with dignity and respect?

In short, did you set them up for success?  If you didn’t, you didn’t do your job and cannot hold them accountable for negative outcomes. If you gave them every chance to be successful, then let them know that you are holding them accountable for seeing the project through.

For Employees

Guess what? You were hired to do a job to the best of your ability and quiet quitting or malicious compliance is not part of the job description.  If you have issues with your manager, speak up.  Yes, it takes courage but it can be done in a way that fosters trust and respect. Some things to think about:

• Am I doing the best I can?
• Did I ask for directions and clarification until the instructions were clear?
• Did I see a different/better way to accomplish the job? If so, did I speak up?
• Did I try to foster a real relationship with my manager/team/stakeholders?

If not,  you’re not doing your part and you need to take a look at why you’re underperforming. I get it, some managers are just awful and it may be better to leave. There’s nothing wrong with that but you have a responsibility to give it your best shot whenever you show up for work.