Mastering The Six Pillars of Persuasion to influence people isn’t just for marketers or salespeople; we use it every day, everywhere. Don’t believe me? Once you understand the basics, you’ll start to see it in all sorts of situations.
So how does it work? In a nutshell, there are six basic ways we persuade people to react. At the heart of persuasion are six core principles, famously outlined by psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini. These Six Pillars of Persuasion tap into how people think, feel, and make decisions. It’s for anyone who communicates with intention. Whether you’re trying to win over a client, inspire a team, or convince your friend to watch your favorite movie, understanding how influence works gives you a major edge. Here’s a quick look at the principles in action.
Pillar No. 1:Reciprocity
You know this one. “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”. That phrase is usually spoken in somewhat nefarious ways, but transactions can be valuable for a manager who needs to get something done. “Hey, Jane, Rob called in sick today. If you stay tonight, I’ll let you go an hour early on your next shift.” See how that works? If you are trying to figure out if reciprocity works, just remember the phrase: If-Then. Why? Because reciprocity implies a favor, and we naturally feel compelled to return favors. Show them what’s in it for them, and you’re likely to convince them to help.
Pillar No. 2: Social Proof
They’re everywhere. Influencers. We look to others when we’re unsure. Reviews, testimonials, and success stories signal that others trust you and make others more likely to do the same. People tend to be swayed by recommendations and testimonials.
Think I’m kidding? I did a workshop exercise where I asked a group of restaurant managers to convince their team to switch from chicken eggs to alligator eggs. It was a bit of trouble until I said, “What would happen if Taylor Swift said she was suddenly switching to alligator eggs?” Need I say more? This is social proof. It’s most obvious in social media, marketing, and advertising, but if you look closely, social proof is ever-present.
Pillar No. 3: Commitment & Consistency
Promise me that you’ll be there when I need you, and I’m sold. Why? Because I trust you. If your team believes that you are committed to their success, they will be more willing to do what you need. This is sales 101, and persuading someone to act, whether it’s in an infomercial, on a car lot, or in the conference room, is all sales, regardless of the currency used for payment. The key here is consistency. If you don’t keep your word, you lose their trust and weaken your ability to impact others.
But wait, there’s more! Getting them to make a small commitment will provide a self-directed influence that makes them want to follow through. Look back at the Social Proof Pillar above. The restaurant managers realized they could persuade people to switch to alligator eggs by getting everyone to taste them! If the eggs failed the test by a pre-determined margin, the managers would commit to advocating to keep things as they were. By combining the pillars of social proof, commitment, and reciprocity, the managers developed a plan of attack that they believed would work.
Pillar No. 4: Authority
You know authority when you see it. It shows up as expertise, professional titles, uniforms, and actions. Authority is often given (i.e., promotion, appointment, job duties, etc.), but it can also be assumed – ever see someone step in and take charge in an emergency? Think about your role. Where do you get the authority to influence others? More importantly, when do you use it? Just because you have the power to make people do something doesn’t mean that it should become your “go-to” tactic.
Pillar No. 5: Liking
We’re more likely to be influenced by the people we like. Shared values, genuine compliments, and authentic connection go a long way in winning hearts and minds. We want to work with people who make us feel comfortable. Personally, I won’t do business with people who don’t/won’t smile. Think about the people you like being around and how easy it is to work with them. Are you liked at work? I’m not talking about “let’s go to lunch and talk about high school”. You don’t have to be that up close and personal, but you do have to have a personality that people want to be around. If you’re only way of communicating what you need is “it’s company policy,” people will do what you want – but that’s all they’ll do.
Management guru Peter Drucker coined the phrase “Management by Walking Around“. It’s easy to do; take a break, walk around the worksite. Stop by and talk to your folks about anything other than work. Ask about a picture on their desk or how they spent the weekend. If you haven’t done it before, it’s ok; the more you do it, the easier it gets. Show your team that there’s a real person inside the boss, and it will pay dividends
Pillar No. 6: Scarcity
Remember the pandemic? Remember the shopping carts full of paper products? We want what we can’t have, and if it’s limited, we want it even more. Tell us something’s limited, and we make a mad dash for it like ants to a picnic. Sometimes we want it because it’s limited. Why? Fear of Missing Out. Limited time offers, exclusive content, or “only a few spots left” messages create urgency and increase perceived value.
Need your team to sign up for a popular training course? What happens if it’s only offered once or there are a limited number of seats? Someone will miss out. Combine it with reciprocity (early signups get ___________), and registration fills within minutes. It’s a powerful combination that gets people to do what you need
Conclusion
The pillars aren’t about manipulation, they’re about connecting more effectively and ethically. Mastering them will transform how you communicate, sell, and lead. When managers learn to persuade instead of direct, the job gets easier. Study the pillars, observe them in routine situations, and practice using them. Share your experience with others in the comment section below.
Balancing Managerial Duties with Personal Workloads
One of the hard things about being a new manager is figuring out how to balance your personal workload while managing your team. You didn’t learn it as an Individual contributor. You just put your head down and got the work done. Now that you’re responsible for getting work done through others, it becomes a juggling act. It’s not easy but you can do it. You’re not born knowing how to do it, you learn the skill with time and practice.
Striking the right balance is essential not only for your personal productivity but also for team success. It isn’t always easy but it is essential for your success. Here are some tips that can help.
Balancing Management
Understanding and Setting Priorities
One of the first steps to help you balance your work is understanding what hat you’re wearing. Are you the individual contributor or are you the team leader? It depends on what you’re working on. One way to figure it out is by using the Eisenhower Matrix. This simple tool helps you understand what needs to be done, who will do it, when to do it, how to do it, and even why to do it.
The Eisenhower Matrix
Urgent and important: Do the work
Important but not urgent: Plan the work
Urgent but not important: Delegate the work
Neither urgent nor important: Eliminate or postpone the work
Assigning priorities tasks is the cornerstone of providing team leadership while completing your deliverables for your boss.
Learning to Delegate
Delegation becomes difficult for many managers. Even more so for new managers. You want to show that you deserve the job so when things don’t go as planned, you think it’s better to do it yourself. Congratulations. You just flunked management 101. You are their leader but you are also a mentor. As such, your job is to develop your people for growth. That means letting them learn by doing. It is also about creating trust and strengthening relationships. Delegation not only helps you balance your workload and management duties, but it also allows your team to improve their skill sets. Some things to consider when delegating tasks.
Keys to Effective Delegation
Assign tasks that align with team members’ skills and development goals.
Provide clear instructions and expectations.
Trust your team to deliver and resist the urge to micromanage.
Delegating the right tasks to the right people will give you more time and help your people build their confidence and capabilities.
Balancing Personal Workload
Setting Boundaries and Managing Interruptions
As a leader, you get frequent interruptions. It’s part of the job but it doesn’t mean that you don’t need (and deserve) time to work uninterrupted. Letting others know when and how you structure your workload allows you personal time while still being approachable. it also helps your team develop critical thinking skills to manage issues they should be able to handle without you.
How to Establish Boundaries
Setting specific boundaries ensures you have uninterrupted time for strategic work while staying accessible to your team. Some things you can do:
Establish specific times for open-door availability.
Use tools like shared calendars to communicate your schedule.
Encourage team members to solve problems independently when appropriate, reserving your input for more complex challenges.
Managing Interruptions
I created a simple communication tool for a client who felt she was constantly interrupted by things her team could (and should) be able to do for themselves. We assigned a numeric level to common reasons for interruptions. These are the levels we created. I encourage you to create your own based on your situation.
Emergency: Immediate attention is needed.
Permission, Help, Resources: Input needed to move a project forward.
Strategy, Planning, Discussion: Help is needed with the actual task.
Venting: Allowing staff to decompress without making formal complaints.
Team members identified the level they needed and she prepared to respond accordingly. This allowed the employee to identify what support they needed and it helped her realize that she didn’t need to “fix” everything. As everyone’s communication skills increased, the Interruptions decreased. It was a win for the entire team
Prioritize, Schedule, Accomplish
Your calendar is your best friend when it comes to balancing your workload and your managerial duties. Take the time to plan your week and work your plan. Use your calendar to keep track
Start with a list of everything coming up for the week.
Transfer the list to the Eisenhower Matrix.
Eliminate or delay tasks in Quadrant 4.
Delegate tasks in Quadrant 3.
Schedule time for Quadrant 2 tasks.
Work on Quadrant 1 tasks first.
Take Care of Yourself
Lastly, don’t forget to manage your well-being. Burnout is a real risk for managers who try to do it all. Prioritize self-care by:
Taking regular breaks.
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
Seeking support when needed, whether from mentors, peers, or professional resources.
Conclusion
Balancing leadership duties with hands-on work is a skill that takes time and practice. By prioritizing strategically, delegating effectively, setting boundaries, and regularly reviewing your approach, you can manage your time in a way that helps both you and your team. Remember, your role as a manager is not just to complete tasks but to guide your team toward collective success.
Active listening requires a skill that separates managing people from processes and products. You know that, but do you know why? When we’re promoted for the first time, we tend to think about the end result as if we were still an individual contributor. But here’s the thing. The feedback you get from processes and products is devoid of the one thing that real, live people possess – emotions.
Back in the day, we use to discount employee’s emotions, referring to them as “touchy-feely” stuff and making the argument that there was no room for it in the workplace. Yeah, right. Somewhere down the line, we started to address the entire employee. Why is Robert no longer the stellar performer he was last month? Nothing has changed in the workplace but he’s falling behind. You decide it’s time to find out what’s going on. And this is where many managers fail. They talk but they don’t listen. Let’s fix that right from the start.
What is Active Listening?
I call it “listening between the lines.” I hear the words but what are you telling me? Active listening means understanding not only the speaker’s words but also their emotions and the overall message they’re sending. It means asking questions that get to the heart of the matter. It’s not called the heart of the matter for nothing – this is your opportunity to see what’s causing the situation good or bad. Active listening is work, you can’t be a passive listener and it’s a skill you can learn and practice
Active listening improves your overall skillsets by:
Building trust – when people feel seen and heard, they feel valued
Improves critical thinking skills – getting to the heart of the matter allows you to see the big picture and how to carve out sustainable solutions instead of slapping a band-aid on the problem
Reduces Miscommunication – minimized errors and confusion
How to do it
So, what are some steps you can take to make sure you hear what’s being said?
Turn off the noise inside your head. You have to be 100% present in the conversation. You can’t be thinking about your next meeting, what you’re going to have for lunch, what you’re going to say in response to what you’re hearing. Focus completely on what you’re being told.
Practice being emotionally intelligent. Regardless of whether you love or don’t like what you’re hearing, understand your emotional reaction and keep it in check. Why? Because part of active listening is managing the relationship between you and the speaker. Body language matters
Acknowledging the speaker. This is the “active part.” Let the speaker know that you are engaged in what they’re saying. You can do this physically (nodding your head, making eye contact, etc.) and verbally (checking for understanding, asking open-ended questions to get more information, paraphrasing what you hear, etc.)
When to do it
I’m going to tell you to do it in every conversation. Why? The more you practice, the better you’ll get. But there are situations where it is especially important to make sure you hear what people say.
One-on-one meetings. It is important that you meet with your people regularly. These meetings provide opportunities to get to know your employee, create and monitor career development plans, address performance issues, and understand the person behind the worker. Listening to what’s important to your people makes it easier to improve your performance as well as theirs.
Team discussions. Using active listening skills in team meetings models the process for others. The end result is a team where everyone can contribute in a meaningful way.
The Bottom Line
Active listening is a soft skill with a powerful impact. By making a conscious effort to hear and understand your team, you’ll foster trust, collaboration, and a positive work environment. Like any skill, it takes practice, but the payoff in employee satisfaction and team success is well worth the effort.
As a new manager, remember listening is not a passive act; it’s an active investment in your team’s potential.
Pillar No. 1:Reciprocity
Pillar No. 2: Social Proof
Pillar No. 3: Commitment & Consistency
Pillar No. 4: Authority
Pillar No. 5: Liking
Pillar No. 6: Scarcity
